your parents love me but you hate me
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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