It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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