Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
