I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My orgasm happened in two different decades
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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