Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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