i permit you to call me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
