How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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