can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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