I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize