Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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