it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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