And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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