Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
