I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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