respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
there is glitter all over my balls
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
