You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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