i need an iv and a liver transplant
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
