woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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