So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
