I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize