he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
