gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
