I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
