i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize