I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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