The beer is more important than you right now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We don't watch enough power rangers
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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