I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
this hospital has no fireball
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
