I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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