It's Friday. Sex?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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