they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I deserve this hangover.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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