Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
