Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
