Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
