chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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