either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
