i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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