I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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