No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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