i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
