How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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