If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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