no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
