god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize