And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
