just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize