My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
well, you know. whores of a feather.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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