Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
