oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were trust falling into bushes
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize