Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
