Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
