why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
