Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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