I am in a vortex of obligation.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
