kristin has been a bad kristin
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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