Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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