I heard we made out
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
