i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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