laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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