what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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