I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
