Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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